Ninja Turtles Reboot Production Halts Due To Rewrites, SHELL YEAH!
Is this the beginning of the end of this fail-turd in a half shell? I sure hope to god yes, Michael Bay’s Plantium Dunes (Worst Production Title Ever!) halts production of the Ninja Turtles reboot due to problems with the script. Hmmm, what could be wrong with the script? Not enough slutty April O’ Neal moments? Not enough plot holes? NO PIZZAS EXPLODING?! I mean what could be going on with the script? Whenever a project that has Michael Bay’s fingerprints goes to hiatus, that could only mean that the script was actually good. C’mon folks you cannot get more dumber than Alien Turtles.. plus there’s no Splinter? WHY THE HELL NOT!?
Folks, I am a huge Turtles fan. I watched the shows, the movies, and I read the comics. I am a turtle-holic, and ever since I heard that Michael Bay had his hands on this project, I tore a chicken’s neck off.. I have never experienced a more potent fear since TMNT 3.. that’s how scary it is. I cringed, I cried, I went through the 5 stages of grief on a turtles movie. It changed me, made me a bitter soul who has nothing but ill will towards this man who is destroying everything I love (including the integrity of filming ). He changed the world of film making for the worst, he is why you never seem to get much plot from your movies anymore, he is why your movies are full of cgi diarrhea, he is the reason why you question if there is a god. He is truly a monster, and needs to go away to a faraway place for the rest of his days.
So I really do hope this movie gets cancelled, and instead just wait and gather dust until a man who is truly capable of making an awesome Ninja Turtles movie.